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Some Call This Fun (7/?)

Title: Some Call This Fun (7/?)
Summary: On a remote Brazilian island, 22 contestants are separated into 2 teams to compete against one another through a series of challenges. But they’ll soon discover that there are more challenges to be had than just the competition. Hook-ups, fights, partying, back stabbing, secrets and lies take center stage as the crew watches their reality show spiral into insanity.

This chapter: Bill finds himself playing the part of everyone's mother, Nixon stresses over Dick, Babe can't keep his pants on and Christenson really is good at everything. Plus both teams discover that when you have to trust one another- people could get hurt.

Meet the Crew
Meet the Contestants
Oh Captain My

Capture The Flag
We All Fall Down
Tequila Is Not Your Friend

Disclaimer: I’m not making any money off of writing this story. It’s entirely fictional and based on the performances given in the HBO miniseries Band of Brothers and not the actual soldiers. Any ideas
or challenges borrowed from a reality show belong to the creators of that show, not me. I don’t own anything…so please don’t sue me. I wrote it for your enjoyment so…enjoy!

Also I know that ‘Jo’ is commonly the feminine form of that name but I needed a way to separate them better in my head- as I don’t think it’s fair to call some of them by their first name and some by their last. Toye’s just going to have to deal.

When Babe blinked his eyes open at 10am that morning- the first thing he saw was someone kneeling next to his bed with their back turned to him and hunched over his nightstand.

Taking in the bottle of water, dark head of hair and the scribbling- he had a pretty good idea who it was. He sat up slightly and groaned at the pounding in his head.

“Leaving me another post it?” He asked.

Gene paused and stopped writing. Turning around he gave Babe a sheepish look, “Hey…how’re you feeling?”

Babe wasn’t sure how to describe how he was feeling. He grabbed his head and winced, “Like I drank too much tequila.”

Gene just nodded, “Yeah.”

Babe stared at him for a second before asking, “Did we have sex?”

Gene’s mouth fell open and a dark blush came to his cheeks. So few people blushed anymore…

“N-no! No we didn’t. Um…do you not remember anything?”

“I remember almost having sex with someone.”

“That was Liebgott.”

Babe sighed and flopped back onto his pillow. Rolling onto his stomach he looked at Gene lazily, “So how obnoxious was I?”

Gene laughed softly- which Babe’s headache was grateful for- and sat on the edge of Babe’s bed, “You weren’t obnoxious. You were just drunk. It happens to everybody.”

“Oh yea? How about you? Ever been black out drunk?”

“Just once…in high school.”

Babe laughed a little, “Good ole high school parties.”

Gene shook his head, “That was forever ago.”

He figured Gene for about 20 but decided to ask anyway, “How old are you?”

“Twenty-three. You?”

Babe used to get this weird feeling at the back of his neck when he would lie. But he’d stopped feeling that when he was 12. Now lying came second nature to him, “Nineteen.”

Lie. He was still 17….actually hadn’t been 17 that long. So when he had told Shifty, Grant, and Webster that he would be 18 soon he had been lying. But he really didn’t want to get kicked off the show and damn did he need the money.

But it was just a white lie. It didn’t hurt anybody and it wasn’t really important. Besides…if it made his life easier it was a good thing.

He sighed, “I need to get up. And shower- Jesus I reek of booze.”

He started to get out of the bed but Gene stopped him by placing a hand on his chest. Babe sighed at the coolness of his fingers through his shirt. He might actually still be kinda drunk.

Gene held out a couple of pills and the water, “Take these first.”

Babe nodded, took the pills and tossed them back with a drink. When he was done he gave Gene a small smile, “Thanks…again.”

“Not a problem.”

“You seem to like taking care of people.”

Gene was tempted to say ‘I seem to like taking care of you’ but didn’t want to freak Babe out. Instead he just said, “It’s kind of my job back home.”

“Oh yea? Well you should tell me about that…later. First I need to get less disgusting….then I need to make me and Joe something. How much time do we have before the thing?”

Gene thought for a moment, “Talbert said they moved the one-on-one to noon now. So maybe an hour and a half?”

“That’s plenty of time. Thanks Gene.” Babe smiled and then leaned forward quickly to give his caretaker a quick peck on the cheek.

He scrambled out of bed to take a shower, not waiting to see Gene’s reaction.

Gene just stared at the spot where Babe had been before smiling and putting a hand to his cheek.

Liebgott stared at the black case for a moment, fingers fiddling with the clasp and trying to will himself to just put it away. But he knew he wouldn’t.

He was alone in his room, sitting cross-legged on the bed. He couldn’t remember if he’d slept but he thought he might have passed out for a couple of hours.

He’d finally made the decision to open the case when there was a knock at his door. Clenching his jaw he stuffed it back under his pillow.

A sudden crawling sensation on his skin caused him to rub his arms viciously-trying to make it stop, “Yeah come in.”

The door opened and Liebgott froze when Bill walked inside.

“The fuck do you want?” He asked, shooting him an ugly look. Their fight hadn’t gotten very far the night before but Joe was still pretty pissed off.

Pissed off at himself for getting that drunk. Pissed off at Webster for getting in his business. Pissed off at Bill for acting like he was the bad guy when he had been way more drunk then Babe.

Basically he just found that he was pissed off. It was a common theme these days.

The other man held his hands up, “To talk and to uh…apologize…”

Bill trailed off as he took a good look at Joe.

The guy was a mess. He was pale, had deep circles under his eyes and was rubbing his arms rapidly as if he were cold.

Joe glared, “What?”

Shaking his head Bill decided to get to his point, “Look- I’m sorry I gave you shit about Babe. But I think you both would have regretted it. And as for the fight…man we were drunk. I’m sorry.”

Joe stilled, “Fuck….yeah I was pretty fucking wasted.”

Bill nodded and rubbed his jaw- where there was a light bruise forming, “Yeah yer stronger than you look too.”

“What a fucking compliment.”

Damn he couldn’t do anything right with this guy.

The truth was that Bill DID feel bad. Not that he’d broken things up- but that he had assumed Liebgott was at fault. Especially when Skip had later told him that it had been Babe’s idea to take off to Joe’s room.

Secondly, he couldn’t believe he’d actually shoved the guy. He got a little bull-headed when he drank but he felt kind of ashamed getting into a fight with someone he could floss with.

“Look Joe. Like I said-I’m sorry. The thing with Babe was no one’s fault-least of all yours. So why don’t you grab a shower and come downstairs. Babe’s up and he’s fixing you something…well something weird.”

Liebgott gave him another dark look, “Stop fucking bossing me around. What you gonna by my mommy now?”

Bill clenched his fists, “You know what? Yeah…I am. I mean- look at you! You’re obviously incapable of taking care of yourself. So get up, take a shower, get dressed and get your ass downstairs.”

“Fuck you.”

Okay this was just ridiculous.

“You’re going to thank me for this one day.” Bill promised as he started to approach the other man.

Joe frowned, not really having the energy for another fight in him. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Bill said nothing but leaned down, hooked his arms around Joe’s waist and heaved the thin man off the bed and into the air.

“FUCKING PUT ME DOWN!” Joe hollered as he kicked his legs out wildly. However Bill had come up behind him and he was only hitting air.

Turning his head to avoid an elbow to the face, Bill tightened his grip around Joe’s stomach and dragged him into the hallway and over to the bathroom.

Once inside he hauled the kicking man into the shower and quickly turned the hot water knob.

Liebgott froze as the water hit him and rapidly soaked through his clothes. Bill stepped back and put his hands on his hips. “There. Feel better now?”

Liebgott just gaped at him, water dripping from his mouth, “I…can’t believe you just did that.”

Bill shrugged, “It needed to be done. You looked like shit. You need a shower. When you’re done- come and eat something.”

“You don’t apologize well.”

“I’ll make you some eggs.”

“I fucking hate you.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Luz finally found Toye downstairs that morning. He was watching with Penkala as Babe poured numerous questionable items into a blender.

Grabbing a stool he hopped up to sit and nudged Toye with his elbow. “So I was looking for you last night.”

Jo raised an eyebrow-clearly amused, “Oh really? Did you try…I dunno…our room?”

Luz cursed, “Shit. That’s where you were? Seriously?”

Toye laughed, “Yeah there I was and there I stayed. I was resting...big day and all.”

That made Luz stop smiling, “Yeah…you nervous?”

Jo shook his head, “Nah. Besides…I heard Cobb didn’t get any sleep with Liebgott and Babe screwing in his room.”

Webster, who was reading at the other end of the counter, abruptly set his book down and eyed Babe, “You and Joe had sex?”

“NO!” Babe growled, “Not thanks to Bill anyway.”

Bill glared from where he was scrambling eggs on the stove, “Yes...how awful of me to prevent you both from doing something stupid. Ingrate.”

“Besides,” Skip chimed in taking a seat next to Alex, “You were both too drunk to get it up anyway.”

Babe picked up a spoon and flung it at Muck’s head.

Malarkey came in behind him, dodging the spoon, and hopped up to sit on the counter. He nodded in understanding, “Ah…I see. Whiskey dick.”

Babe glared in his direction and turned the blender on to cover up their laughter.

Webster looked around, “Where is Joe anyway?”

Liebgott walked in at that moment, wet hair clinging to his forehead, and sent a dark look at Bill who just gave him a tight smile. “I’m right here.”

Babe saw him and cut off the blender, “Hey man. So…we were pretty wasted. But I figure there are worse people to almost have drunken sex with. So uh…are we cool?”

Joe smirked and gave a little nod, “Yeah kid…we’re cool.”

“So I made us this really great hangover cure that I learned in Cabo.”

“Don’t drink it!” Don warned.

Penkala nodded, “I swear he put a dirty sock in there.”

“I did not! Shut up!” Babe shouted as he poured the gray slushie into a cup. He handed it to Liebgott.

Joe accepted it warily, “Thanks.”

Babe frowned, “Although it wouldn’t hurt to pinch your nose while you drink it.”

Joe sighed, “Do I even want to know what’s in this?”

Everyone in the kitchen shook their head. Joe shrugged and drank it anyway.

Webster got up and poured some orange juice into a glass. When Joe was done drinking Babe’s concoction and looked ready to vomit David handed him the juice.

Joe snatched it and gulped it down, “Thanks you guys.”

David nodded like it was nothing and went back to his book.

Babe smiled, “Least I could do after springing the tequila shots of doom on you.”

“Man-tequila and I don’t mix.” Joe confessed.

“Same here.”

“Y’all are just lightweights!” Grant hollered from the living room.

They ignored him and Liebgott touched his forehead. “I think that shit’s actually helping Babe.”

Bill slid a plate of scrambled eggs in front of both of them.

Babe thanked him and picked up a fork.

Joe looked at his plate distastefully, “I’m really not hungry.”

“Eat!” Webster and Bill snapped simultaneously.

“Or do you want a repeat of the shower incident?” Bill asked.

Joe glared and remembered that this is why he didn’t have friends. They were always giving a shit about your welfare.

“Fine. But I’m not going like it and I’m just going to throw them up later.” He promised.

“And then they just started making out”, Floyd continued to ramble on about the previous night like some freaking middle-schooler and Nixon was this close to pulling his hair out.

“OKAY! You need to shut up now.” He snapped at the overly happy intern. He rolled his eyes at Floyd’s pout, “I mean seriously- you really are sex deprived. Jesus.”

He was about to further dampen the young man’s spirits by reporting the newly discovered sexual orientation of Christenson but stalled when he saw Dick walking towards them.

His best friend was looking over some notes absentmindedly and the mere sight of him made Lewis feel panicky. What with the whole one-sided sexual tension that had crept back up on Nixon the other night after years of having been ignored (quite well he thought).

Dick looked up from his notes with a smile and just as he was about to reach them Lewis –having never been a smooth operator under duress- turned to Floyd flinging his arms out.

“You know what I wanna know? I wanna know why we have a FULLY set up arena and crew with NO FUCKING CONTESTANTS!?”

Floyd jumped what could have been an estimated two feet off the ground before zipping away to the house, leaving the host alone with the source of his unease.

Dick frowned at him, “Geez Nix. Calm down. Everything’s fine. Look about the other night- you seemed really wound up and I just wanted to check and see-”

“What? What happened last night? I don’t remember. Maybe you’re acting weird. Ever think about that? What’s with all the accusations? Get off my back! I have to pee!”

Done with his neurotic outburst, Nixon whirled around and marched off.

Dick watched him go, confusion clearly expressed on his face. He shook his head and walked over to Harry, “Am I in the Twilight Zone? Nixon’s acting really strange lately.”

His producer laughed, “You’re not in the Twilight Zone- you’re just in the same zone as the rest of us for once.”

Once the contestants were assembled in the arena Nixon finally felt himself breathe easy. If he was working then he wouldn’t be freaking out over his pathetic personal problems.

Now he just had to- wait a second…

“Where’s Christenson?” he asked loudly.

“Who cares? Do we really need him for this?” Luz griped from the stands.

Nixon supposed they didn’t and was about to call down the two participants for the challenge when the missing red member came jogging up to the stands.

“Sorry, sorry. I was just caught up with a thing…”Christenson babbled as he went to take a seat next to Buck on the red side of the bleachers.

“Riiight.” Nixon drawled, “Which is why your shirt is on backwards I’m sure.”

Burton looked down at his shirt, “What? No...it’s Thursday right? Isn’t that backwards…clothes…day?”

He coughed at all the strange looks he received.

“Smooth dude.” Buck informed him.

Since Nixon was under contract not to savagely beat any of the contestants he ignored the interruption and moved on, “Okay…whatever. The Red team lost yesterday’s challenge. Therefore the two contestants competing in today’s one-on-one will be Toye and Cobb. Guys come down to the arena and I’ll explain today’s rules.”

Luz reached out and squeezed Jo’s shoulder in what he hoped was a very encouraging and not at all clingy manner, “Good luck.”

Toye smirked, “Thanks man.”

He walked down and noted that Cobb really did look kind of shitty-like maybe he hadn’t slept well. He felt rather bad for the guy- sure he was kind of a prick, but they didn’t all have to treat him like shit.

He sighed knowing it was too late to start being nice to the guy and focused on paying attention to Nixon.

Nixon was gesturing behind him to the arena, where there was a stand set up with a long metal pole horizontally attached to the top, “Today’s one-on-one is called ‘Push Me’. And it’s much more physically demanding than ‘The Duel’ which sent Hoobler home.”

“You see-this metal pole is movable,” he walked up next to said object and pushed at it- sending the pole swinging forward. “Each of you will be placed at opposite ends of the pole. As you can see there’s a bell about three feet ahead of the pole and an equal distance away from each of you.”

“The object of this game,” Dick cut in, “is to push at your end of the pole with all your strength- which is made difficult because you’re pushing against one another. Eventually one of you will overpower the other, and your side of the pole will move forward- taking you to the bell. The first person to ring the bell is the winner. The other will be sent away from the island.”

Nixon added, “Oh…and try not to drag this out will ya?”

Jo rolled his eyes at the host as he and Cobb took their places at opposite ends of the pole.

Cobb placed his hands on his side, with his palms flat and leaning slightly to his right.

Jo studied him before wrapping his arms around his end of the pole in a kind of hug and setting up his stance so that he wouldn’t be knocked off balance.

Cobb looked over at Nixon, “What’s the signal-”

A gunshot went off.

This time no one jumped, only glaring at their host, and Roy immediately threw his weight onto the pole. However it didn’t move or budge the slightest bit.

He looked over to see that Toye was steeled in place, his arms tightened around the pole and not even pushing back.

Jo, for his part, figured he’d let Cobb wear himself out before he bothered to start pushing. For now he would just absorb all of Cobb’s efforts.

And Cobb was certainly wearing himself out as he continued to push at his end of the pole with his hands. He was basically walking in place and it looked to Dick that he was attempting to move a brick wall.

Toye wasn’t completely unaffected however as the judge noted that his mouth was set in a determined line and he was struggling to maintain his stance.

Then Cobb, in what was probably desperation, moved his feet side by side as he threw all his weight onto the pole with his right shoulder.

Jo saw it as an opportunity to knock his opponent off balance and put his weight onto his end, running forward slightly.

The move worked and because Cobb hadn’t maintained his defensive stance, he was knocked backwards and fell to the ground.

Pushing the pole forward Jo reached out and rung the bell. He sighed at the sound it made and slumped to the ground, worn out.

The red team erupted in cheers.

“All right, all right!” Nixon hollered over their shouting.

Jo picked himself up off the dirt and went over to Cobb- offering him a hand to help him up.

Cobb glared and Jo thought he might blow him off, but he accepted the help and Jo smiled as the other man stood, “Good job man.”

“Whatever,” his opponent mumbled.

Jo just sighed and clapped Cobb on the back as they walked over to Nixon. The host was still telling their team to shut up.

“Yes yes, you’re very pleased-we get it.” Nixon hollered. The red team quieted down but both they and multiple members of the blue team were smiling.

“Well Cobb- hate to break it to you but your time here is up.” Nixon informed the bitter looking blonde.

Roy didn’t really have anyone to say goodbye to, so he took off towards the house the moment the attention turned to Jo.

‘Good riddance,’ Luz thought as he watched him sulk off. He then hopped the barrier between the bleachers and the arena.

Buck frowned as Luz practically jumped on Toye’s back- spewing congratulations.

“You all still have a CHALLENGE you know!” Nixon yelled amidst their mini-party.

They all ignored him for now.

Sobel knew he wasn’t in a good spot with his team. At this point they all knew he had made himself sick to get out of the first one-on-one.

If he wanted to keep himself out of the arena he’d have to A) make sure he could convince others to vote with him, B) make sure his team won or C) if he thought he was going in vote for the weakest player to compete against. Since his vote counted twice- there was a greater chance that he could pick his competitor.

Yeah…that could work.

“Okay contestants. For today’s challenge we’ve decided to attempt the first in a series of team-building activities. And what better way to do that then with a simple trust exercise?”

The contestants were all led to the bottom of a cliff off the side of the beach where they normally had their voting sessions.

The rock was already equipped with a harness that was connected by string to an anchor at the top and there was rock climbing gear laid out on the ground.

“Oh great,” Sobel muttered looking over the equipment.

“That’s right!” Nixon chirped to them, “This exercise will split you into pairs. It will also require one team member to scale this teeny little cliff.”

Dick gave them a small smile, “Now we’ll be top-roping. Which means that there’s an anchor set up at the end of the climb, with a rope running through it that will be attached to the climber’s harness. The other end of the rope will be with a team member who will be on the ground acting as a belayer to prevent any falls for the climber by holding on to the rope. Obviously this requires a lot of trust.”

“Yeah trust, team building…all that junk’s great.” Nixon waved the concept off, “But at its heart this is a race. You all have to complete the rock climb because we’ll be timing you. So do so quickly- because whichever team has the fastest combined time is the winner of this challenge. Any questions?”

Grant began to open his mouth but Nixon quickly cut him off, “No? Awesome. Captains go first so we have Lipton and Speirs for the Red team and let’s say…Bill and Sobel for the Blue team. You decide who is climbing.”

Sobel frowned, he knew that Guarnere certainly didn’t think much of him and the feeling was mutual.

But really-how hard could this be?

The two met up next to the climbing gear. Sobel picked it up and handed it to Bill, “I am NOT climbing that thing.”

It was a struggle for Bill not to roll his eyes. He was tempted to ask if Sobel was afraid of heights or something. But honestly? He didn’t give a shit.

“Fine whatever.” He snapped at the Captain and took the equipment.

Lipton eyed the harness before looking at Speirs who was in turn eyeing the cliff with a look that suggested he was unimpressed. But Carwood figured he looked at everything that way.

“So,” he gently poked the preoccupied man in the shoulder, “Need help getting this stuff on?”

Ron’s head whipped around quickly and he frowned, “Who said I was climbing?”

Lipton laughed and gestured between them, “Come on. Seriously?”

The Captain regarded him for a moment before his shoulders sagged and Lipton knew he’d won him over.

“Fine.” The dark haired man conceded before stepping into the harness.

Carwood rushed to help him as he fussed with the straps. He batted the other mans hands away, “Here I got it.”

Ron watched him fix the equipment, “If you’re so good with this then why am I climbing exactly?”

Lipton laughed, “Maybe because you’re lighter? Not that you’re not strong enough to lift me I’m sure.”

The other man sighed, “Please…don’t belittle me.”

Carwood smiled once more, “Maybe because I know you’ll kick ass?”

Ron shrugged before walking to the foot of the cliff, “We’ll see.”

1st Pair

“Alright.” Nixon looked over the now suited up contestants- both at the bottom of the small cliff. “All the way to the top. Your time ends when you’ve get your feet on the ground. Okay…Go!”

This time there was no gunshot- as Harry had conveniently requested that it be kept in one place that he knew Nixon was too chicken to put his hand-the back of Dick’s jeans.

Ron and Bill immediately started up the cliff, moving at about the same pace.

He was halfway up the cliff when Speirs found he was running out of places to grab with his hands. Personally he felt this was a mistake- he had no experience climbing mountains. They didn’t exactly having them in excess in the city.

But Lipton seemed to think he’d do well-and he was determined not to let him down.

On that note he leaned forward to grasp a rock with his left hand. However it wasn’t as secure as he’d hoped, so when he pushed off of his right foot he slipped and started to fall backwards.

He didn’t really gasp-gasping wasn’t his thing. But he sucked in a mouthful of air quickly in a startled fashion. However he soon realized he had nothing to fear as he didn’t go crashing to the ground below.

He looked down to see that Lipton had the rope securely in both hands.

Relieved, he quickly regained his footing as Bill scaled swiftly passed him.

Sobel grinned as he saw Bill pull ahead of Speirs about halfway up the cliff.

This wasn’t hard at all. He pretty much just stood here. He doubted that Guarnere would actually fall.

He wouldn’t even have to…

Herbert let his thoughts come to a halt as he heard a buzzing around his head. He glanced around rapidly.

What was that?

Suddenly a bee buzzed in front of his face and he jerked back quickly, “Shit!”

As the bee continued to fly around his head he tried to duck and dodge it the best he could.

Finally he threw his hands up to try and shoo it away but while doing so actually jerked Bill back from his climb.

Bill felt himself being tugged backwards and looked down to see Sobel fussing with a fly or some shit.

“Hey!” he hollered down to the man, “Cut it out! I’m going to-“

He was going to say ‘Fall’ but actually having it happen proved his point much better.

He began to fall back as the rope was pulled by Sobel on the ground.

It wouldn’t have been much of a problem if Sobel hadn’t then thrown the rope to the ground and screamed, “I’m HIGHLY allergic to bees!”

As their fearless leader was being terrorized by the big bad insect-Bill was struggling to save his own hide from the mess he hadn’t gotten himself into.

Scrambling wildly at the rock he managed to stop his descent and get his feet secured. He looked up to see Speirs was now at the top of the cliff. Great.

He cursed and began to climb sans a belayer. If they lost this- Sobel was going down.

Dick and Lewis watched as the Blue Captain ran about, wildly flinging his arms around his head to ward off a bee.

“Should we…help him?” Dick wondered, seeing as the man was obviously in distress.

Nixon waved the suggestion off, “Nah…besides what are the chances it’ll actually-”


“Oh…” Lewis stared, “Someone should probably take him to Renee.”

2nd Pair

Buck hung back a little as Luz suited up to climb. Finally he took a couple of steps forward.

“Have you been avoiding me?” he asked the other man curiously.

Luz looked up with a frown, “Huh? No! Why would I be avoiding you?”

Buck shrugged, “You seemed kinda weird the other night.”

With a roll of his eyes, Luz smirked at him, “We made out. No big deal right? I was a little stressed but it had nothing to do with you. We’re cool.”

Not really sure he wanted to know that Luz had been so preoccupied while they had been together Buck just nodded, “Well that’s good to know. What with your life being in my hands and all.”

Luz shoved him slightly, “Whatever. If I fall you die.”

Buck laughed, “You’ll just have to trust me.”

“Yeah…trust that you’ll be staring at my ass.”

“No argument here.”

Babe hopped around a couple of seconds to get a feel for the equipment before turning to Skip.

“Why am I doing this?” he asked.

Muck grinned, “Because I didn’t want to?”

“Right…is all this shit on right?”

Skip looked it over, “Yeah I think so. Lemme tighten that strap though.”

Babe beamed, “Thanks.”

When they were ready he and Luz made their way to the bottom of their paths.

“Alright!” Nixon hollered, “Ready, set-”

An air horn (a nice change) signaled their start and Babe hopped up to grab hold of the rock and begin his climb.

Noticing that Luz was having some troubling reaching the best holds due to his slight height disadvantage Babe pushed himself harder and began to ascend quickly.

He was pulling his right leg up when he got stuck. Glaring down he saw that his gym shorts had gotten caught on a rock. Frowning he jerked his knee up swiftly.

This resulted in a loud tearing sound and as his leg came unstuck Babe went up and his shorts went down.

When he realized he was now climbing in his boxers he cursed.

“What the Hell!? Why does this keep happening?” he shouted but kept climbing and trying to ignore the reaction of the other contestants.

“This is becoming a regular thing I see.” Malarkey noted from where the Blue team was cracking up.

Nixon was howling with laughter and Talbert was tilting his head to the side, obviously staring at the young man’s ass.

“I could get used to this.” The intern said.

Nixon smiled, “Now that’s just good TV.”

3rd Pair

“Hey do you mind climbing?” Grant asked Jo, who’d been expecting to be the belayer.

Jo shrugged, “Sure. What- you scared of heights or something?”

Grant shook his head, “Nah I’m just hung over. I figure it’d be best if I stay in one spot.”

“Chuck, man, you gotta lay off the booze.” Jo told him shaking his head, secretly disappointed that his teammate wasn’t taking their challenges more seriously.

Grant just laughed, “Right, right. Time to suit up.”

“Since there’s no way I’m entrusting you with my life. You’ll be the one climbing.” Don informed his partner.

Evans just nodded and looked solemnly at the cliff.

Don sighed. “Now you’ve shown a fear of heights but I guess I was hoping you might have some super amazing rock climbing techniques to go with your impressive resume of other useless crap no one believes.”

Evans shook his head, “Nope, sorry.”

“Oh well. Maybe the next challenge will involve ice skating.”

As the two climbed, Evans was making slow progress. But Don figured they were doing okay since Babe had finished ahead of Luz previously.

Although Toye was going embarrassingly faster than Evans.

Things seemed to be fine until about the half way mark. It was almost the exact same spot that Speirs had stumbled.

Toye slipped in the same manner and started to fall. Don’s first thought was that maybe the red team should avoid that spot. However that thought was cast aside when he noticed that unlike with Speirs- nobody caught Toye.

Jo tried to stop his falling, not bothering to wonder what the Hell Grant was doing. However his hands were only catching air and he hit the ground with a loud thud.

Cursing, Jo rolled onto his back and clutched his left knee which he had landed on directly. He closed his eyes for a moment and through the haze of his pain he heard voices. Opening his eyes he saw his team gathering around him.

“Shit Jo I’m so sorry! I swear you fell so fast, it slipped right through my hands.” Grant apologized with wide eyes.

“Fuck! Chuck how fucking hard is it to hold a goddamn rope?” Luz glared, kind of surprised that he had the urge to punch his friend in the face.

Lipton kneeled down next to Toye and gently touched his shoulder, “Jo are you okay?”

Toye groaned, “My fucking knee man.”

Just then the red team members that had gathered around Jo were being pushed out of the way by an uncharacteristically bossy blue member.

“Lemme through. Y’all give him some space.” Roe commanded as he pushed at them lightly and slid down onto his knees next to Jo.

The red team looked at each other before moving back as ordered, except for Lipton who was patting Jo’s shoulder reassuringly. As well as Luz- who had to be dragged back by Buck.

Nixon watched them all converging and stopped his stopwatch, “Damn it. Evans! Just come back down- you’re climb won’t count. Looks like Jo’s not getting back up.”

Evans, who was only about five feet off the ground anyway, just nodded and slowly began to shimmy his way down.

Dick shook his head.“This is not a very trustworthy group if this exercise has any merit.” He joked before going to check on Toye.

Gene gently grazed his fingers over Jo’s scraped and badly bruised knee.

“Well you didn’t break or shatter anything.” He informed his patient, “Let’s see if you can stand up.”

Motioning for Lipton to help, Roe put one of Jo’s arms over his shoulder and the two lifted him off the ground.

“Try and put some weight on it,” Roe instructed. Jo did so and looked alright for a moment before wincing.

“Hmm,” Gene eyed the knee, “I think it’s just bruised but you may have sprained it. Does it just hurt where you landed on it or does the back of your knee hurt too?”

“I dunno. It just hurts right now.” Toye answered.

Gene nodded, “Well we better get you to Renee and make sure it ain’t a sprain.”

They started to help him off but Luz stopped them, saying to Gene, “You haven’t finished the challenge yet.”

“Right,” the blue member replied before ducking out from under Jo’s arm and motioning for Luz to help him.

However Toye put his arm down and leaned on Lipton before pulling his other arm away from him as well, “Thanks guys but I think I can manage on my own.”

Luz gaped as Jo started to limp forward, “Um what?”

Bill, who had come to see what the fuss was about, noticed that Jo had just put too much pressure on his bad leg and was about to take a dive. Rushing forward he caught him mid stumble.

“Don’t need any help my ass.” Bill griped and hauled Jo up, wrapping an arm around his waist to support him.

“I’m fine.” Jo shot back and Bill wondered why he was being subjected to all the stubborn Josephs in one day.

“Right. All the same, I’ll help you over there.”

Luz watched them walk off and would have gone over to help if Nixon hadn’t started in with his usual bitching.

“If he isn’t dying then WHY IS NO ONE CLIMBING? LET’S GO!”

4th pair

“Now you sure you ain’t afraid of heights?” Alex asked Blithe once again.

Blithe smiled and nodded, “I’m okay.”

“Then why do you keep looking up there?” he asked the blonde who was gazing up at the cliff and Penkala suspected that maybe his eyes were just drawn upward naturally.

Blithe blinked his large blue eyes at Alex, “Because it’s pretty and I enjoy looking at it?”

“That why you’re always looking at the sky?”

Albert gave him a small smile, “It rains a lot back home. I guess I just like taking it all in. You know-the sunshine and the weather.”

Penkala laughed, “Why don’t you just say that then? Everyone’s been thinking you’re weird or something.”


Alex smiled and patted his back, “Forget it. You ready?”


“So you’ve got this?” David asked looking up the rocky drop.

Shifty nodded and tightened his harness, “You bet. I’m a bit of a nature buff. It’ll be a breeze. Just don’t let me fall.”

David nodded quickly, remembering that two belayers had already failed at their jobs, “I won’t I swear.”

During the climb Blithe did surprisingly well, managing to avoid the little area of doom that had slipped up Toye and Speirs.

Nixon looked at his stop watch and then at Dick, “You’ve got Blithe right?”

Dick looked up from his stop watch as well, “No I’ve got Shifty- you’ve got Blithe.”

“Crap,” Nixon muttered shifting his attention from the brunette climber to the blonde.

Despite Blithe’s success it was obvious that Shifty had rock climbing experience and once again the blue team’s climber finished first.

Nixon glanced at Dick suspiciously, “Why do you always get the fast people?”

Dick frowned, “You do realize that I’m timing the blues and you’re timing the reds?”


5th pair

Gene and Joe inspected each other a moment before Gene spoke, “I think maybe you should climb.”

Joe frowned, “I can support your weight you know.”

Gene nodded, “Yeah no…it’s just I think you’re probably lighter so it just makes sense.”

He tried to phrase it nicely as to not offend Liebgott, who he knew was sensitive about his weight. But at the same time he wasn’t sure how good Joe would be in this challenge.

True to what they had all assumed was a joke earlier- Joe actually had gotten sick and thrown up after breakfast. So Gene wasn’t quite sure he wanted to chance that Joe might not have the strength to catch him.

However Joe just shrugged and started to put on his equipment.

“Now I know logic dictates that you, being the shorty that you are, should climb. But Luz seemed to have a tough run of it and I’ve been rock climbing before. Trust me.” Christenson babbled with a smile.

Perconte shrugged, “Fine. What? Are you good at everything?”

Burton frowned, “I don’t know how to dance.”

Christenson was good, he was quite good actually. But to everyone’s surprise- Liebgott was better.

The moment he’d heard the air horn Joe had taken off like a shot, scrambling up the cliff like a madman- Christenson keeping up with him the best he could.

Babe noticed that Webster was not only watching Joe climb but was also discreetly checking out his ass. He laughed, figuring this was the challenge for it.

Inching over to his roommate he elbowed him in the ribs, “Nice ass huh?”

Webster gaped, “I wasn’t…I don’t think so. Joe?”

Babe smirked, knowing he was full of shit, “So you don’t care if I sleep with him?”


“I mean- we were way too drunk last night. But who knows? He’s pretty hot- it could still happen. I mean- you’re not interested right?” Babe asked trying to get a rise out of him.

Webster glared at him, “Cut it out. You’ve made your point.”

Babe just laughed.

Gene frowned, having overheard most of their conversation. Looking up at Liebgott he briefly imagined letting him fall to severe injury just to make his own ego feel better.

But he wasn’t planning to be a doctor so that he could hurt people, besides….it’d probably just make Babe fuss all over him, as if that was anything he needed to see.

The opportunity was gone in seconds, however, as Joe pulled himself up over the top of the cliff a short ways ahead of Christenson who finished a mere 3 seconds later.

Nixon looked at their respective times, impressed.

“Way to go! That was the fastest race of them all.” He called up to them.

The two clapped hands at the top and Joe grinned as Christenson did a little victory dance.

Talbert sighed as Christenson swayed his hips, “And you’re sure he’s straight?”

“Yes.” Dick and Nixon replied simultaneously, the latter screwing up his face at the image of Renee (who reminded him of his sister) getting it on with Christenson.

At the bottom of the cliff, Frank frowned. “He can so dance! He sucks!”

“Don’t be jealous Frank,” Luz teased.

“Alright,” Nixon looked over the times, “we’ve got your compiled times here. Obviously excluding Toye and Evan’s. And as you may have guessed-the winner of this challenge is the Blue team!”

The blue team cheered and exchanged high fives. The red team sighed, having been handed their second straight defeat.

“Which means,” Dick spoke, “that the Red team needs to think about who they want to vote in to tomorrows one-on-one and meet back at the bonfire in four hours. And make sure Jo’s there too.”

They all nodded and began to walk back to the house.

Luz glared at Chuck, already knowing who he was voting for, before heading over to the infirmary to check on Jo.

Bill crossed his arms and waited as the doctor inspected Toye’s knee. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself, not really knowing Jo that well. But the cameras hadn’t followed them- and that was nice.

Plus he got to see Sobel’s puffed up face, which was just hilarious.

“Well,” Renee spoke as she stood from stooping down to see, “I believe you may have a very minor sprain. I’d recommend that you stay off of it as much as possible the remainder of the day. Rest, put some ice on it, keep it elevated and you should be able to walk on it as soon as tomorrow-although there may still be some pain. I’ll get you some painkillers now.”

“Thanks,” Jo replied in his husky voice and gave her a tight smile.

As she walked away, Bill moved over to stand in her spot looking at Jo in concern.

“You alright then?” he asked.

Jo nodded and grabbed his knee with both hands, pulling his leg over the side of the bench it had been splayed out upon. “Yeah. I was fine before.”

Bill frowned, “Right. Well your knee looks pretty fucked up.”

Jo shrugged and gave it a look, “If it ain’t broken- it’s okay in my book.”

“Well it would have been a lot worse if you’d walked over here by yourself. What were you thinking?” Bill scolded him.

“I was thinking I needed to get out of there before Luz decided he was going to smother me.” Jo told him honestly. Not that he minded Luz’s company at all, far from it in fact.

“Smother? I uh…thought you had a thing for him. Least that’s what Babe thinks anyway.” Bill said as he decided to sit next to Joe on the bench.

“Well…I guess I do. But uh…I think Buck does too and he’s my friend so... I figure it’s best to just stay out of it you know?” Jo paused then as Renee came back with a small bottle with about six pills rattling around inside of it.

“Instructions on the back,” she told him before turning to Bill, “Makes sure he takes them.”

Jo rolled his eyes and Bill just nodded dumbly.

He then looked over at Toye who was reading the label. He had to give it to the guy-he was pretty tough. He hadn’t complained of any pain on their way over and Bill wondered if he even understood the point of medication.

Plus his handling of the Luz situation was one that actually made sense. No drama.

“Anything good?” Bill inquired peering at the bottle’s label.

Jo smirked and shook the bottle, “Dunno. I’ll let you know when I pop ‘em.”

Just then they heard footsteps and looked up to see Luz walking over towards them.

Bill looked at Jo. “Should I leave?”

Jo shook his head, “Nah man…I know you don’t have a reason to-but do me a solid and stay alright?”

Bill nodded, “Yeah sure.”

Later that night…

Jo frowned as they waited for Dick and Nixon to tally up their votes. Not only did it suck that they lost but now they’d have to lose another player.

Not to mention that Luz was hovering right next to him, eyes constantly dropping to his knee and talking at the speed of light.

“It really doesn’t hurt? I dunno, I mean it has to hurt a little. Do you feel okay? Maybe you should put it up on the log. I can sit on the sand it’s not a big deal. You took a pill right? Earlier? Maybe we should get you some more ice.”

Jo screwed his eyes shut. Honestly he appreciated the concern…but it was a little overwhelming. Plus now Buck kept glaring at him and Jo desperately wanted to tell him he wasn’t interested in Luz.

But that would be a lie. Luz was an easy person to be interested in. But Jo wasn’t going to ruin his friendship with Buck or be involved in any kind of drama over something that would only last until the end of taping anyway.

Of course Luz wasn’t making himself very easy to ignore. Finally Jo snapped, “Jeez Luz- I’m fine. Calm down.”

Luz frowned, “Yeah? Well you would be perfect if SOMEBODY hadn’t let you fall.”

Grant glared, “I’m SORRY already.”

“Alright shut up!” Nixon growled as Dick set all their votes aside, “The two members of the Red team with the most votes who will be competing in the one-on-one tomorrow are…Toye and Grant.”

Jo’s face fell…damn he’d just been in one that morning. Who the Hell was voting for him?

The others were shocked as well.

“What the Hell?” Luz jumped up, “That’s…not fair.”

Nixon shrugged, “Thems the rules.”

Buck looked over at Luz’s distress, “But he’s injured.”

Lipton nodded, “Sobel didn’t have to compete when he was sick.”

Nixon sighed, “Sobel couldn’t even make it to the voting session. Besides Renee said he should be good as new tomorrow.”

“But” Luz started before Nixon cut him off.

“Why are you all so desperate to get him out of this? If it isn’t him it’s just another one of you. Besides…the votes are final. See you at noon tomorrow.”The host then nodded to them and walked away from the voting table.

Luz watched him go before sitting next to Jo. “This is bullshit.”

Buck watched Luz stew in his anger as Jo just shrugged at his fate. He supposed that voting for Jo made him a bad guy. But then again…this was a competition. In more ways than one.

A/N: Forgot to mention that I took the challenge 'Push Me' from MTV's The Duel...which I totally watched...but wasn't exactly a fan of...anywho...


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 23rd, 2009 07:02 pm (UTC)
Oh what fun! A conniving Buck, discreet Webster, flirty Babe, bitter Roe. Love it.
Mar. 23rd, 2009 07:31 pm (UTC)
Well I'm glad :) It's becoming incresingly fun to write!
Mar. 23rd, 2009 07:49 pm (UTC)
:) I was so happy to see you posted another chapter. I love this story, really. And this:

“Should we…help him?” Dick wondered, seeing as the man was obviously in distress.

Nixon waved the suggestion off, “Nah…besides what are the chances it’ll actually-”


This was the funniest point of it. :D
Mar. 23rd, 2009 08:50 pm (UTC)
Well I'm glad :) and haha yeah...poor Sobel can't catch a break.
Mar. 24th, 2009 05:24 pm (UTC)
Did I mention that I love this? Your crazyfunny universe has totally talked me into reading series before they've finished (It started with Just To Be With You) and I'm pretty much hooked. Since I love Babe/Roe, I also adore you for the first scene. "Leaving me another post-it?" <3
Mar. 24th, 2009 06:10 pm (UTC)
Haha you may have :) Don't worry I (like others) always plan my endings ahead of time to work towards so it'll get finished....eventually. I just never realized I'd be one of those people apparantly writing the never ending fanfic (or at least it feels that way)!
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )